Transparent Gold: Creative Crush
“I don’t want clones as friends, I want people. People who laugh differently, see what I don’t and think how I can’t. Similarities make a friendship common, differences make a friendship comlex. And isn’t that what we want? To know people that wont bore us by being just like us?”- Jackie Hill-Perry
I was reminded of this as I was reading through Bu’s blog post about being ghosted, she also has a podcast about this, she is clearly in her feelings with this one lol but they are insightful. I don’t have a besty, that stuff ended in primary school for me, inbetween constantly changing schools and cities, I didn’t have time to emotionally connect and still carry the friendship over to the next phase of my life. But I do have friends though, one of the reasons I don’t have a besty is because I am selfish, if you are my besty be my besty alone, I can’t share my life with you and you share your life with someone else naaah it don’t work like that, so when I got married I really didn’t have anyone to ghost on lol. I do understand though what she means about how when someone gets married the friendship dynamics can change, I totally get it and I agree, but as a friend you also have to recognise this and see where you are in the friendship.
One of the things I struggled with was adjusting, I missed home, I missed my mum, I just missed home the place I grew up. So at times I would be distant not because I didn’t care but because I was just trying to balance my emotions and not sink into a sorry state. I remember there were times I would secretly cry not because I was unhappy or being mistreated but because I was my missing home lol it’s silly but it happens and I was in a catch 22, how could I possibly explain all this to my hub without making it seem like I didn’t want to be here in the moment with him and explain that I have frozen in between time and I want to be there with my mum too lol. It was at that point in time I needed a friend, whom I could explain this to who would just come to my house, not meet over drinks but actually come to my house, prepare a meal for me in my own kitchen and tell me how she loves my new sofas and suggest I get a lamp for ambience sake.
That’s just my thought, people just don’t ghost on other people for no reason unless the friendship was never solid. If it’s a solid friendship, you go through the seasons together, it’s just that sometimes we are quick to say this person did this to me but what did you also do about the situation?
Anywho you can read Bu’s take on this matter on her blog. I enjoyed reading it from her perspective. I love her blog, all the posts that I have read from there have inspired some posts in my head that are yet to be transferred to my fingers. I also loved the Speech at a funeral, writing your own eulogy. I think this is an exercise worth doing, I am sure as you will be writing your eulogy you realise the kind of legacy you are leaving and from there you decide if that is really the legacy you want to leave or not.
If you love thought provoking pieces, you definitely want to subscribe and follow my beautiful namesake Nobuhle Natasha 🙂 Reading her blog is like having a conversation that you don’t want to end. Be my single friend Bu and maybe we could tea at, I don’t know 1845?
Nobuhle
Listen, we are BFF’s..It is done!!