By the time he woke up…

By the time he woke up I was dying, lying on the floor my hand stretched to him. I could hardly make out the frame of his body but I could tell he was smiling at me with his hand trying to reach out for mine.

In the background I could hear our song,

When the rain is blowing in your face

And the whole world is on your case

I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love

I tried to hum along with the little life I still had in me and I recalled the times he would sing that song to me. To hear him sing is to have the rare pleasure of envying a deaf man yet he sang from his heart and that’s what I loved about him.

I know he didn’t mean to. I hope they will understand that. It’s just that when his PTSD hits him he fails to differentiate our living room from the battle field. He fails to differentiate me from the enemy. I know from the outside looking in, it looks bad but don’t let the scars on my neck and face fool you.

He is a good man, the kind of man I would rather sit with and talk about nothing with. Having trained as a surgeon in the war, he was precision incarnate. He is a kind man, a good man. Other people have always been good and kind but nobody was him. He was my walking confessional booth whom I could tell anything without fear of being judged and I was likewise to him, at least I hope I was.

As the last bit of the song played,

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true

There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do

I’d go to the ends of the earth for you

To make you feel my love

To make you feel my love

I couldn’t help but admire how even with blood gushing from the side of his head he still looked like love’s young dream itself.

There is nothing I regret Joe, our life has been an adventure. You promised me that nothing would take me away from you and if we die we die together. Here we are Joe keeping your promise one last time.

As we drift away I am assured the war is over.

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