…..Then My Heart Had A Voice
Losing a parent is hard inexplicable . It takes a special breed of human to choose a parent they would prefer to lose, cause both play such pivotal roles in our lives, and if you love your parents dearly you could never choose, you would probably choose you instead of them, I know I would.
The Heavens opened the doors for my father to enter when I was 11. My life has never been the same since then, it actually feel like it went downhill from that moment, there were good times but it was never the same. Being so young, I knew that for the next few years whatever the accomplishment, I wouldn’t have my father there to celebrate them with me. Losing a parent when you are older is also hard cause you still want them there, you still have so much to show them, tell them, if they had already seen grandchildren you want them to see their great grandchildren, there is no specific time where you are like, “yes, fare thee well this was the right time.” and people have this “at least” tendency when they are comforting someone, “oh but at least he walked you down the aisle”, or “at least she experienced 3 of your children’s birth” yeah “at least” but I want more, this wasn’t it. Young or old the memories experienced or yet to be created are what either eventually bring you some kind of healing or drown you into abyss.
I never really came to terms with my fathers death till 2015, when I wrote this post on my old blogger.com account lol, https://ethneticme.com/vatete/ I cried so much after writing that post cause reality actually sunk in…my father was gone, I was never going to see him, he was never going to see me, he was never going to be there for any of my life’s special moments! Damn! That hurt real bad, but it also healed me, I didn’t realize just how much grief I was holding in till that moment.
I started myself on a healing path and I searched for blogs, articles that could help me and I really couldn’t find one that resonated with my soul. And that is how My Heart Had A Voice, I just thought if I am feeling this way maybe someone else is too and they will one day look for something and I hope it is my blog they will stumble on and find some sort of healing.
One of my fave healing posts is this one https://ethneticme.com/daddy/ (I can never get that click here thing right lol) and that’s how I feel.
I hope you enjoy them you know what let your heart speak but most of all Listen to your heart, it definitely speaks.
Bex
I lost my mum in February I think am still numb
Nobu
Oh Bex, losing a parent is hard so sorry it happened to you. Taking it a day at a time is important, allow yourself to feel whatever emotions rush through you. If you ever feel you need someone to talk my inbox is open and I am ready to listen ❤❤❤