Pink October

If you don’t know then I do not know under which rock you are residing in but October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Initially I was not going to write anything about it because I have so much to say and I have no idea where to start from then someone asked me why I hadn’t written anything about it and I was like oh I have a follower lol

Before I go any further let me just say after death I hate cancer, I hate it with every fiber in my body, I can not explain it but I hate everything about it. Mostly I hate how these days everything seems to cause cancer, microwaves, water, plastic, the sun!!! I mean COME ON!

Did you know that there is a phobia of cancer? It’s called carcinophobia and in extreme cases it can stop someone from living a normal life and it is said cancer survivors suffer from this and people who might have had experience with the disease directly or indirectly. It’s horrible because unlike say you have a fear of flying or driving you just avoid places where you might have to drive or fly but when you have a fear of cancer or diseases in general you carry it with you. If you develop a pimple to you it’s not just a pimple it’s potentially cancerous and eish that is not a life!

The first time cancer reared it’s ugly poisonous head in my family was when my aunt (my mum’s sister) announced she had breast cancer. I must have been in grade 6 or 7 and I didn’t really understand what that meant. I had no idea the fight that was ahead of her even if I did I would have never been able to fully comprehend it. She shaved her head, had a mastectomy and went through chemotherapy. I could not wrap my head around the fact that my aunt who had the most beautiful natural kempt afro you have ever seen going bald and worse off not because she wanted to, I didn’t understand. The after effects were visible but we thought the worst is over.

Then it came knocking again a few years later this time in a different place the throat. I was older so I understood what was going on. I could see the toll it had on her, my mother who was now her care giver and everyone else who would come to visit her. You now the transition from being able to feed yourself to being fed is not easy no matter who you are and how old you are, our pride makes us even more aware of our inability. Every other day my mum took care of my aunt and her life now revolved around that, she read on cancer, she prepared special meals for her, she would sit and talk with her, pray with her she tried her level best.so the one day she wanted to go somewhere and asked me to care for my aunt, I was scared even my aunt was scared am sure lol. I think she thought that she was inconveniencing me and I probably wouldn’t be able to do what my mum did, that I would probably be disgusted or something and boy was she was wrong.

I enjoyed that day I had with her we sat in the sun for a bit, I juiced her vegetables and fed her we didn’t speak much cause she was tired but for the first time since she had come to stay with us I had a glimpse into a day in my mum’s life. I love afternoon naps but on that day I didn’t close my eyes to nap for even 30 minutes it felt like time was flying, before I knew it I had to do something according to her schedule by the time my mum got back I was tired and it was only for a few hours but I would do it again.

One thing I am glad about is that I do not fear cancer, I just hate it. I hate the pain and heartache it causes, I hate how it recurs and does more damage than the first time, I hate that I am not a scientist maybe who knows I might have been at the forefront in finding a cure or not who knows such is life I guess.

I have my own fears that I fight and I thank God I have Jesus who helps me in my weaknesses and fears, I lay them down at His feet and leave them there. I have no idea how other people deal with their fears but I sure do hope it works.

At the end of the day go and get checked man or woman, cancer knows no gender. And when you say a prayer for that person suffering from cancer remember to also whisper a prayer for the caregiver they also share in the suffering.