….culture in retrospect
Continuing from yesterday’s blog post regarding culture, today’s topic is about cultures that’s don’t “fit” into our modern world. So I am going to take it from a different angle, I will tell you of cultural practices that were observed long ago by the Shona but thanks to “modernity” they have since been dismissed.
Regarding virginity,when young girls reached a certain age during winter, they were taken to the river never mind how cold it was and they had to bath in the freezing cold river water. If they shivered that was a sign that “wadya mbeva mbishi ” (ate raw mice loooool) meaning that they had been intimate with a man.
I mean really and truly, virgin or not if you bath in cold river water on a winter’s morning you will shiver, it’s cold for Pete’s sake. Imagine your aunt telling your parents you are not a virgin cause you shivered how ridiculous is that! Thank God that was then cause it definitely has no place in our modern world, I wouldn’t want my daughter or any woman I know to go through that.
Regarding conceiving…after marriage there was a grace period a couple got before they had children. If they passed that grace period and there was no bulge, eyebrows would be raised, questions asked, answers sought and should it turn out that the woman was unable to conceive, her family had to hand over her younger sister to the man so she would conceive for him them . This was done to protect the “love” between the couple and their marriage too.
Should it turn out that it was actually the man’s soldiers who weren’t errrm strong enough to fight through, the man had to ask either a friend or his brother to be intimate with his wife so she conceives but only three people were supposed to know, the man, his friend/brother and the wife…noone else, see how unfair it was, for the woman the whole village would know but when it came to the man it was a secret.
I have so many questions about this, how do you as a man father another man’s child knowing its not yours? How do you still manage to be intimate with her knowing your friend has been too? I mean what if he does things that you weren’t able to!!? How do you look at your sister knowing she was intimate with your man? Do you love that child as your own? What if he ends up being attracted to your sister more? Do you watch for control!!!?? I just have a lot of questions 😂😂😂
I haven’t heard of this being practiced these days although when it comes to children, our African parents are backward and some will do anything to hold grandchildren putting so much pressure on the couple especially the woman.
This needs to stop, people need to embrace the fact that not everyone wants to have children and that if natural conception fails, adoption is also a great option.
There is so much I want to talk about lol, I want to talk about chinamwari, which is a practice where young girls are taught how to be intimate with a man. This one is still being practiced but I feel has no place because you find young girls looking for man to be intimate with so they can practice what they learn.
That’s a topic for another day.
