#BOTY2018: Day 12
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love sent to me, a story about her achievement 🙂
My year started off really well. My 2017 into 2018 was so good I didn’t even make any resolutions because everything was good. Then a quarter past the year, my birthday month actually I lost something I thought was valuable to me, my job. At that moment I felt like it this is it, this is the end of my career. Because I loved my job, I held it on a pedestal, there are moments/events that I missed because I was working so I guess for me it had to work out because I had and was investing my time.
So what followed was a series of self doubt, pity parties and some serious melancholy. I didn’t know how to cope with myself and in turn people around me didn’t know how to act around me lol which was rather sad. If I am honest with myself, I always thought of myself as a secure person, you know one of those “I know my worth, my value nothing and no-one can bring me down” typa people. BUT boy was I wrong, my character was tested in the most insane way, I thought I was going to sink deep and hard!
I genuinely thank God for Grace! He says He will never give us anything that we can’t bear and that is so true, you will think nah I got this, I am boss hayas won’t you be in for a surprise. I definitely wouldn’t have made it through the rest of the year without God’s Grace. He daily reminded me that by my own strength I can not do anything, I can not love, I can not heal, I can not move on. It was hard but I had to get here. I had to go through that season in my life so I can relate with someone. I am one of those people who honestly believes that you go through life’s experiences for someone else, not just for you. Someone out there might be on the verge of giving up but what you went through will encourage them to hold on.
So I guess this year this was my life’s achievement, learning to forgive without holding any grudges. Learning to keep on track, bruises, blisters and all. I learnt to keep quiet when all I wanted to do was scream at people. Despite the sprain I kept on keeping on, trusting God to see me through the process. I am grateful for the processes without them I definitely wouldn’t have this blog 😃
Next year there is a whole lot more on the not the emotional development side like actually joining a gym and seeing it through the year..baby steps. Simple things too like buying a book every month lol I know it’s not a biggie but I want to leave a library for my kids of actual physical books they should read and in each book I want to write notes for them, a footprint 😊
