There are people walking in our midst. Third forces sent to make our lives a living hell. Rogue elements.

Their egos are bigger than the offices they occupy, with a clear view of Samora Machel Ave, leather reclining seats imported from Italy and the deal breaker is that portrait of him who enables them. Did I mention they own half of the buildings in Harare CBD.

I see I didn’t.

Well yes, they own half of the building in Harare CBD.

These people are ungovernable, a law unto themselves and most of the times they drive as if the road belongs to them. Scratch that, they always drive as if the road belongs to them. You will find them driving big-ass cars, with the number plates being an initial and a number you know like FU 26. I think the numbers are to let us know how many cars they have, some I think write in faith but well we’ll never know.

I imagine some of these third forces are your ordinary Joe’s. But you see in Zim, there is always something off about an ordinary Joe. If he isn’t part of Team Subaru he is part of Team Altezza. Their cars have 7.1 surround sound system, 5L engine and the deal breaker tinted windows.

Chances are when ordinary Joe is driving like a maniac he is going to his office, corner Angwa and Nelson Mandela. There he is known as Mukoma Tepplaz, Mukoma T1 or just Mukoma. Mukoma is that guy who wants to let the world know that everything is balancing so he’ll buy everyone lunch.

The thing about Mukoma ordinary Joe is that he is enabled by the big guns in the big offices which automatically translates to him being ungovernable in the streets.

Then there is me, sweet, gentle, naive Christian me. You know me, holding down a 8-5 honest job. I indicate when I am still 300 meters away from my turning point, no bodies in my car boot just the fire extinguisher, reflectors and reflective vest. But you see the deal breaker is I pay my taxes.

But you see the thing is when I get paid I give Mukoma Tepplaz a call cause I either need the United States Dollars so I can buy a screen protector from Alibaba because the local shops are trash expensive or I give him my hard earned USD and he gives me the local Bond notes cause I need to shop and the rates in OK Mart are not favorable.

What Mukoma Tepplaz then does is after a hard’s days work of making and receiving calls sitting in his car andeating a 2 piecer, he enables his enabler.

The enabler then stores away the USD and gives Mukoma Tepplaz crisp, clean, fresh from the money maker Bond Notes to circulate in the streets again. Big Gunz makes a call and voila the new notes appear at his office door.

He then returns the favor by showing his face on the News at 8pm for an official statement and says “We would like to let the public know that due to lack of foreign currency we are unable to print new passports. This in turn means that we are unable to get our officials to travel to China to acquire the oil needed to repair the machines that print the money. In the meantime we urge you to make use use of mobile money. We have mandated the banking sectors to charge 10% for every transaction. We came to 10% using a sophisticated algorithm which entitles us to 8% and the bank 2%. IN other news we win, you lose once again!”

That dear class is the definition of unscrupulous. Should someone call you unscrupulous be worried, very worried.

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